Overcoming Trauma
By: S. Keith Klein IV CN CCN
Relapse Prevention Series Psychology

When a trauma creates a deep hurt and leaves a void in a person’s life, that void can ultimately turn into some form of addiction. The question we need to ask to begin healing from a trauma is, “what is the opposite of trauma?” The opposite of trauma is “resilience,” also called “psychological well-being.” Resilience refers to an individual’s ability to adapt, cope, and recover from adversity or challenging life experiences. It involves maintaining a positive mental state despite difficulties and bouncing back from adverse events. Resilience is the armor that protects you from being deeply hurt by traumatic events. It also protects you from being concerned about what other people think about you or the hurtful things they may say.

Developing a stronger sense of resilience also creates a stronger overall mental and emotional well-being. Healing begins when the person dealing with their addictions begins to find new ways to cultivate more resilience and a healthier mindset. Below are ten pointers that can help you develop those two things:

1. Build Strong Social Connections. Since addiction usually stems from a lack of attachment, developing stronger social connections to friends, healthy family members, and community helps because it gives you emotional comfort and a sense of belonging. You can receive encouragement and assistance from these very connections during difficult times.

2. Practice Self-Care. Engaging in activities that promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being helps reduce stress and improve resilience. Things that fall under this category are getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet, and engaging in relaxation techniques like meditation or getting a sports massage. Because one of the main approaches to curing an addiction involves developing more self-love, practicing self-care helps you get in touch with treating your body better rather than abusing it, which creates self-harm.

3. Cultivate a Positive Mindset: Part of reaching psychological well-being requires the switch from a negative mindset to a positive attitude. Learning to get rid of self-judgment or the judgment of others and being less critical helps turn your brain from a negative mindset to a more positive one. It means you’ll start seeing and looking for the positive things surrounding you instead of the negative ones. It means focusing more on what you’re doing right over what you do wrong. And when you foster a more optimistic outlook, you will also develop a better sense of resilience. Focus on your strengths, accomplishments, and positive experiences, even in challenging situations. Challenge your negative thought patterns and reframe them in a more positive light. This is where many positive self-help books, tapes, and lectures can help you find new ways of seeing your experiences and situations with others in a better way.

4. Develop Problem-Solving Skills: As you acquire a more positive mindset, you will enhance your ability to find solutions to your problems and take practical actions to resolve them. You want to begin breaking down challenges into smaller, more manageable steps and seek support and advice from others with good problem-solving skills.

5. Set Realistic Goals: Establishing achievable goals can provide a sense of purpose and direction that builds self-confidence. These goals can help you stay focused and motivated, even when facing adversity. For example, start with the first five pounds instead of telling yourself that you will lose eighty pounds. Prove to yourself that you can accomplish that before you move on to losing ten pounds. Set a goal that you know you can live with. Instead of giving up a favorite food, decide the number of times you can have per week that allows you to feel satisfied and get the results you want to achieve.

6. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness involves staying present and fully engaging in the moment without judgment. It can help reduce stress and enhance your ability to manage difficult emotions. Try to see situations from someone else’s point of view and realize that there are always multiple sides to every experience.

7. Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling to cope with past traumas or difficult life experiences, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor specializing in traumas and food addictions. They can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to process emotions and give suggestions that have helped previous clients overcome similar issues.

8. Develop Flexibility: Life is full of unexpected changes and challenges. Cultivate the ability to adapt and be flexible in your thinking and actions, making navigating difficult situations easier. Realize that when something doesn’t go your way, it’s most likely for a reason. In my own life, when one thing didn’t work out, it was later revealed to me why it didn’t, and I ended up in a much better situation.

9. Discover Your Purpose or Your Why: Engage in activities that give you a sense of meaning and purpose to why you are making the changes that you want to make. This could involve volunteering, pursuing hobbies, or contributing to a cause you care about. Ask yourself why you want to eat better and begin exercising. Make a list of the things that have meaning to you so that you have a good reason to stick to it. For example, I don’t think it’s enough to say, “I want to lose weight.” Instead, figure out the bigger purpose. For example, “I want to live longer so I can be around to see and interact with my kid’s kids.” Or, “I don’t want to find myself in a wheelchair when I’m 65. I’d much rather be able to travel, walk, or even jog when I reach that age.” When you find the more profound meaning, you discover your purpose, and having a sense builds resilience.

10. Practice Gratitude: Regularly acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of your life can boost your overall well-being and help you maintain a more balanced perspective. But it also allows you to take a moment to be thankful for your life and the people in it. When people ask me, “How are you doing?” My immediate response is always, “I’m too blessed to be depressed!” Why do I say that? Because I am. I have my health, wealth, and some incredible relationships, which I am eternally grateful for. And so it goes, every morning when you wake up, say inwardly, “I’m going to have a great day today!” It might surprise you how many great days you start discovering.

Remember that building resilience is a gradual process that takes time and effort. It’s also important to acknowledge that everyone’s journey is unique, and seeking support when needed is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Copyright 2023 S. Keith Klein IV CN CCN